“It is the child who makes the man, and no man exists who was not made by the child he once was.” - Maria Montessori

“Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.” – Erik Erikson

The Social Development of our Children The quotes above point out the fact that humans are social creatures and that social interaction is not only important, it is imperative for our development. We cannot learn in isolation. The richness and variety of our experiences with others is what helps us build our knowledge and guides our growth. A very important scholar on the subject of social development is Erik Erikson. He and his work have been very influential in my philosophy of education, my practice, and especially my parenting. His theory has helped me on many occasions as a teacher, principal and as a parent, in explaining and clarifying the motivation for a child’s or an adult’s behavior [his theory spans the entire life cycle] or the feeling behind their response or reaction to an encounter. Of course, I am not expecting everyone to agree with this one theory, but I am confident you will find many truths as you are reflecting on your own development, and as you observe what each of your children is experiencing at this point in their lives. I am including a link to a brief YouTube video to help explain quickly: Erikson's Stages of Development. There is also a much longer, very dated, but iconic video entitled “Everyone Rides the Carousel” Included below is a partial outline of Erikson’s Framework: Trust vs. Mistrust – Birth to 18 Months – children develop a sense of trust when caregivers provide dependable and reliable care and consistent affection. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt – 2 to 3 years – Strong need to develop a sense of personal control – physically and socially. The need for independence is high, success brings autonomy, failure brings shame and doubt. Initiative vs. Guilt – 3 to 5 years – Preschool – Exploration of world around them. Asserting control and power over their environment is a priority. Success breeds a sense of purpose. Failure develops into confusion and low self-esteem. Industry vs. Inferiority – 6 to 11 years – Elementary School – There are many new academic and social demands placed on the child during this time. Success allows a sense of competency, while failure leads to low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority. Identity vs. Role Confusion – 12 to 18 years – Adolescents need to develop a sense of self and personal identity in order to continue to build a strong sense of self and understanding of their place in the world.