BEAUTIFUL STUDENT WORK

SUNSHINE! WINTER!!! AND A FISH!!!!!

Advice is Like Snow......

“Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind”. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Over the years, I have been very fortunate to have been mentored and encouraged by many thoughtful and supportive colleagues, professors and friends. Each has helped shape me into the person I am today, and each has offered me ‘bits of wisdom’ [i.e. advice] from which I rely on daily. A few of the significant pieces that I find myself repeating internally are: “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” “When your children are little, the days are so long, but the years are so short.”

“You must confront issues directly, but you cannot do so until you are emotionally ready.” “You have two ears and one mouth - one of those is able to close for a reason.” “Every parent, no matter how rich or how poor, only wants the best for their children, and for their child’s life to be better than their own.” One of the things all of us need to always remember is to always be ready, willing and able to ask for, accept, and listen to advice when it is given. The decision to follow advice is up to the individual. The one thing I have always found to be true regarding advice is that if it is given gently, and softly, the person on the receiving end has opportunity to ponder and determine the relevance and benefit. Whether it is an adult giving advice to a child, or a colleague advising a peer, each of us need to learn to listen and reflect before we react. It is also always important that each of us remember to receive advice graciously - even though you may not want it at the moment - accept graciously, because one day you may really need it - and if you have rejected it once, it may be difficult to obtain in the future. This is my advice to you - and it is the result of learning the lesson the hard way.

I have also found this approach to be very helpful in other situations. Reacting too quickly or too emotionally only ends in misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and regret. I know that whether or not we agree with one another at all times, I do know that, as a community, we respect each person’s contribution and view. Again, constant agreement is not the issue - provocation, questioning, and challenging are all productive and important dynamics to help any organization grow, prosper, and remain relevant as the world and society change around it.

“It is the child who makes the man, and no man exists who was not made by the child he once was.” - Maria Montessori

“Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.” – Erik Erikson

The Social Development of our Children The quotes above point out the fact that humans are social creatures and that social interaction is not only important, it is imperative for our development. We cannot learn in isolation. The richness and variety of our experiences with others is what helps us build our knowledge and guides our growth. A very important scholar on the subject of social development is Erik Erikson. He and his work have been very influential in my philosophy of education, my practice, and especially my parenting. His theory has helped me on many occasions as a teacher, principal and as a parent, in explaining and clarifying the motivation for a child’s or an adult’s behavior [his theory spans the entire life cycle] or the feeling behind their response or reaction to an encounter. Of course, I am not expecting everyone to agree with this one theory, but I am confident you will find many truths as you are reflecting on your own development, and as you observe what each of your children is experiencing at this point in their lives. I am including a link to a brief YouTube video to help explain quickly: Erikson's Stages of Development. There is also a much longer, very dated, but iconic video entitled “Everyone Rides the Carousel” Included below is a partial outline of Erikson’s Framework: Trust vs. Mistrust – Birth to 18 Months – children develop a sense of trust when caregivers provide dependable and reliable care and consistent affection. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt – 2 to 3 years – Strong need to develop a sense of personal control – physically and socially. The need for independence is high, success brings autonomy, failure brings shame and doubt. Initiative vs. Guilt – 3 to 5 years – Preschool – Exploration of world around them. Asserting control and power over their environment is a priority. Success breeds a sense of purpose. Failure develops into confusion and low self-esteem. Industry vs. Inferiority – 6 to 11 years – Elementary School – There are many new academic and social demands placed on the child during this time. Success allows a sense of competency, while failure leads to low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority. Identity vs. Role Confusion – 12 to 18 years – Adolescents need to develop a sense of self and personal identity in order to continue to build a strong sense of self and understanding of their place in the world.